さようなら

"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind"
I gazed on that quote for a few seconds, viewing from the life perspective of my own. Again, my negative mind is consciously overpowered by the overwhelming sense found from the unknown corner of the brain. The truth is, I am not altogether on Lewis' side in this matter. 2013 started pretty well with practicum and a few other crazy stuffs that we did together as students. In a contradict manner, the following months of the year went into nothingness since I have just trapped at home most of the time. The passing numb months after leaving IPDA has rendered myself cruel to declare that 2013 emitted light the least, in general. But there was one moment this year that the world was able to see every ounce of happiness evident on my face. The event that I have been wanting and waiting for several months. I asked and He listened. Allah looked straight into my heart. I know that. He showed it and I have clearly understood. So 2013, thanks for behaving well so long. You may leave now. :)

8-18

Stop right there! I said to myself this morning. My brain signalled my fingers to do what they were supposed to. Each passing day brings us closer, but have not yet to the point of no return. Fortunately my brain did his job well in taking care of other people's feeling. Beyond that, I have to admit the power of God that is unbeatable. At one point, He hears me. Allah is truly above everything although He did that in the most shocking, saddest, and unexpected way.

People say,
To love is an effort.
To be loved is a bless.

No matter how small the effort is,
No matter how little the love feeling could be,
Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

	كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ ثُمَّ إِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ Every soul will taste death. Then to Us you will be returned 29:57

The deceased that surely will be remembered, if not missed.
Allah will take care of you

Good luck

Dear diary,

Tomorrow is the day of SPP interview. The exposure since the first year I stepped in teaching field will somehow be asked by the selected few experts. Within 5 days I have been struggling to regain some (surely not much) knowledge imparted by the lecturers, and I guess my other coursemates who are currently breathing unpleasantly due to mountaining anxiety are doing the same. Listening to the seniors' stories would not help much. I am still not sure what am I going to see, hear and witness tomorrow. Haih Ayuni just hope for the best. You have gone this far...
Cuak yang amat... For a moment I think I do not know what to say. It's utterly terrifying. Never a second that I enjoy a formal interview.... Uhukhuk