Friday, April 27, 2018

Berakhirlah sudah

Dear diary,
 Just now we had a midnight deive. It was something that I had been wanting, yet the feeling was totally different. Good and bad things keep coming alternatingly. I will stop putting any hope, or else you will make yourself hurt deep. The path is less vague now. Ayuni has no other choice than moving on with life.

Tonight, ma probaby got what she had been praying for. That is the best for me forever.
Alhamdulillah for everything he plans.

Friday, February 16, 2018

eyes watching

Dear diary,

Have you experienced trying to do a wrong thing and it turns out that Allah acts better on overturning your plan? Yeah it happened to me a while ago. I had a blow because I managed to witness how Allah  will halt me from doing something wrong. I thought by planning everything well will sugarcoat my real intention. Ayuni, you never know how great Allah can be and how weak you are as a decision maker. I want to keep it here as a good reminder for my awful self, the so called holier than thou self . Happy CNY, may this new year shape me better. Amin

Monday, November 20, 2017


Dear diary,

This evening I stepped to uum with syafiq to get our cloaks, mortar biards and other stuffs for our convocarion day tomorrow. It was an amazing journey with lots of memories that tasted distinctively. All I can say about this, I learned about patience to balance my commitments, learned to be sincere when it comes to helping others, learned to accept the outcomes that sometimes do not meet our expectations. Despite not having Abah and Ma waiting outside the Muadzam Shah tomorrow, I hope that they feel proud of me.

Saturday, September 23, 2017


Dear diary,

I am feeling absolutely nervous deep down. The biggest challenge that I have ever taken since the day I officially became a teacher is doing cascading to all other teachers,. I am taking the role as a Master Trainer on behalf of Cambridge English to explain to Kelantanese teachers from different districts about next year's curriculum which is CEFR alligned. It is indeed something that I have never imagined myself doing. Hopefully Allah will help me throughout the five days. Failure is not trying. I don't want to fail.

Break a leg Ayuni!

Thursday, December 31, 2015


Hi. As usual I do not want to miss writing another entry to end 2015. 'Metamorphosis' is the best word to describe this year. First, I went to Mecca for umrah where I realized that there is closer attachment between me and My Creator, to the extent that I clearer of what life should aim for. Alhamdulillah. Another change is I start my Master study at UUM. Even though it is done part-time with so much of limitations, I believe that my choice to fork out my own money to study is the right thing to do. There are 3 more semesters for another graduation. May Allah ease my way. The biggest metamorphosis of my life that I have undergone is having a boyfriend who is now my fiance. Despite the bumps encountered along the road, I still believe that Allah has created Mohd Syafiq Mohd Rasidi for me since the very beginning. Everything happens with Allah's grace. Everything is beautiful for 2015. Thank you :)
And not to forget, Ipi is now a Puan of Afnan. Nabilah is counting days while Faten is following closely behind with a good guy too. May happiness bestowed upon all of us. Amin

Monday, September 14, 2015

Kak nuroshlizan

Damailah kamu di sana. :)

Saturday, September 5, 2015

sotong celup tepung

Dear diary,

Tonight marks the 5th months of us being together. The whole day I went around town, looking for something that I can give to him. When I think about love, I always imagine care, receiving gifts, sweet messages, treat, and etc. It is all about giving rather than accepting. The drawback of such analogy is felt start pressing myself about how less his care towards me, how insignificant I feel about myself to him. However, when he pointed about how I should care of his pride, I felt like not having self worth anymore. At this point, it seems clear that the more effort I put to appear perfect in his eyes, the more imperfection I had seemingly demonstrated. Thank you. I have learned in the hardest way. I am so thankful for having him. Alhamdulillah