MyWahana

Cikgu Nik Abdullah Nik Ibrahim, I personally do not know so much about the life of this man, all his doings, good or bad, I pretty much left untold which is something that I am comfortable with since 'kids' in my family are universally forbidden to poke nose into the elderly's matters. His name appears after my mom's- one thing for sure. He likes my name to also have Hanim when my mom was deciding to name me. Therefore, as a granddaughter I silently blamed him for the time wasted to write my long name when I was small. I heard a story about how he gave my first brother a bicycle for getting the highest rank in the class during primary school but I got nothing although I achieved the same quite a few times.  I know that he is the one who always came to our kampung house and all the grandchildren will kiss his hand to sort of officiate the raya ceremony. He travels using his motorbike all the time from kedai menanti to his child's house of his choice. He pays attention on his appearance as he never seen wearing other than collared shirt tucked in in his slacks completed with a leather belt. At the age of 55 he chose to remarry to a lady younger than my mom. Allah gives him more kids and by the time I was born, I somewhat competed with his own children in seeking for his love and attention. I did not win the game. However, I believe that he must at least has brushed my hair. All I can remember is that he came to see my dad on the weekend to discuss on the education, school, career path, anything significant for the well being of his 'new' children. 

In 2009, I still remember his effort to build a small hut near the entrance of abah's rubber tree farm all by himself with his might so that it would be easier for us to rest after tapping the trees in 5 years time. He was strong, but there is nothing in this world that can last forever. He was unable to stand when we visited him on the eid of 2012. While just sitting on the old chair, he shook my hand, smiled at me and asked whether I manage to bring back any mat saleh from 'Inggeley' to be introduced to him. At that point I realized that he's always joking around with me.^^

I've never thought that it was the last proper converstion between us. Last Syawal we gathered around him. He lied on the mattress but was still able to smile, and respond to our questions. I asked him if he remembers me and he smiled and I could still hear my name came out from his mouth. The next visit shows that he became senile. He kept asking for another plate of food right after eating off one and he cannot remember anybody. 

Weeks after another, slowly Allah is taking whatever capabilities lent to him. Two days ago i could see his eyes opened. He tried to say something but the response he received from his children was nothing but shahada and zikrullah. There was no solid food goes into his mouth. He took only two spoons of Zamzam water. Days before, maybe a sip or two.  His mouth dry, his eyes became reddish and watery. His body turns extremely bony, the flesh sagged downwards, gradually leaving the upper parts. I tried not to stare, but I braved myself to confirm what i heard about his mouth. His tongue sinks while its outer layer came off in flakes and ulcers formed at many areas of the mouth. That might be the reason that he does not want to eat or drink anymore. Kak Nor thinks that he is finishing the remaining sustenance in his life, every little drop of water and every single seed of rice.

And just now he never woke up. He slept soundly with rapid breath. There were a few attempts to wake him up but they just failed. Everybody knows that he is not actually sleeping. I eyed on all faces in that room. What's left in their eyes was nothing other than reflection of sorrow.

May Allah hold his hearing to be the last to go so that he will be able to hear your name before the veil of the next life is lifted.

"His death is moving closer to him"

Abah's voice 

-breaking the silence 

-breaking many hearts 

-breaking down the barrier between us and the undesirable truth

                        **********

19.10.2013

06:45

He's such a great man. 

The world should know this.

=)