Today
3.30 pm
RTC Kota Bharu
I met TH after 10 years
It was him. I swear!
That class monitor of 4Alfa, standing 1m away from me.
Wah lau wei..Epicnya!!!!!!
(^___________________________________________________________________^)
if only i had guts to drop a friendly hello. at least. sigh
Monday, April 21, 2014
Jellabies
"I pledge that I will serve the school with full of commitment, workmanship and sincerity"
My promise sounded almost as such on the paper that I put my signature in front of Puan Ainun that day. Finally declaring myself as a working lady, I reported my duty to Sekolah Menengah Jeli nearly the past four weeks. Expect less brings less pain- the philosophy that I set in my mind since the first day I arrived here. Day by day, now I am adapting quite well with the moderate life that the people around here are accustomed to. I survive staying alone in a low-cost-but-expensive-rent house with no ceiling fan, stove, TV, broadband, and only two or three radio stations could give clear signal to make matter worse...yes that is about it. Come to think of it, I know I am a strong daughter. Sobs..
Jeli is so remote to the extent that I can allow sympathetic face from the world to be dedicated to me. I actually have never been to somewhere worse than this, so I cannot give solid judgement right on the button. I am part of this area now and my perception does not change. What I love is the hill view ahead of me that I can see from my car on my way to school. It looks so green, beautiful, and refreshing. With Joe-No One Else Come Close as the backgroud, the greeenery all around, and my school that is located only 3 kilometers away, it is true to have a thought that I am looking forward for another refreshing morning after one left. Plus, I simply love the staff that I know in that school. Most of them are young and very passionate with their responsibility. Puan Habsah who cares about my welfare, Kak Sara who is a great sister figure, Sir Sharul who appears to be a colleague just like what I dream for, the cool Kak Nor, the melodious Encik Adnan, the motherly Puan Siti Zubidah and many more.
Plus, I have 3 new good friends around me who turns Jeli to be Los Anjeli for a few secs. Luckily, SMK Jeli and SMS Jeli are neighbours.They are all the enthusiastic TESLians with the name of Fadhilah, Anuar and Syafiq, apart from Adib who I have regarded already as a part of my life. They are all here to keep each other's company. 5 of us make up for a much more matured version of the irreplaceable F7 that I miss so deeply. We gather quite often in a week just to witness each other's progress, gossip about the world, blurt out our classroom incidents, and so on. Three of them are nice, actually very nice and I feel so thankful for their presence, especially Syafiq who is posted to the same school as I am.
Well, everything seems to be fine.
But somehow...
...
and I cannot deny any longer.
My promise sounded almost as such on the paper that I put my signature in front of Puan Ainun that day. Finally declaring myself as a working lady, I reported my duty to Sekolah Menengah Jeli nearly the past four weeks. Expect less brings less pain- the philosophy that I set in my mind since the first day I arrived here. Day by day, now I am adapting quite well with the moderate life that the people around here are accustomed to. I survive staying alone in a low-cost-but-expensive-rent house with no ceiling fan, stove, TV, broadband, and only two or three radio stations could give clear signal to make matter worse...yes that is about it. Come to think of it, I know I am a strong daughter. Sobs..
Jeli is so remote to the extent that I can allow sympathetic face from the world to be dedicated to me. I actually have never been to somewhere worse than this, so I cannot give solid judgement right on the button. I am part of this area now and my perception does not change. What I love is the hill view ahead of me that I can see from my car on my way to school. It looks so green, beautiful, and refreshing. With Joe-No One Else Come Close as the backgroud, the greeenery all around, and my school that is located only 3 kilometers away, it is true to have a thought that I am looking forward for another refreshing morning after one left. Plus, I simply love the staff that I know in that school. Most of them are young and very passionate with their responsibility. Puan Habsah who cares about my welfare, Kak Sara who is a great sister figure, Sir Sharul who appears to be a colleague just like what I dream for, the cool Kak Nor, the melodious Encik Adnan, the motherly Puan Siti Zubidah and many more.
Plus, I have 3 new good friends around me who turns Jeli to be Los Anjeli for a few secs. Luckily, SMK Jeli and SMS Jeli are neighbours.They are all the enthusiastic TESLians with the name of Fadhilah, Anuar and Syafiq, apart from Adib who I have regarded already as a part of my life. They are all here to keep each other's company. 5 of us make up for a much more matured version of the irreplaceable F7 that I miss so deeply. We gather quite often in a week just to witness each other's progress, gossip about the world, blurt out our classroom incidents, and so on. Three of them are nice, actually very nice and I feel so thankful for their presence, especially Syafiq who is posted to the same school as I am.
Well, everything seems to be fine.
But somehow...
...
and I cannot deny any longer.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Posting
Dear diary,
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
The day that I have been waiting for since May 2013 has finally shown up. All the questions answered in a very undisputable way. All the TESLians are now satisfied as the waiting time has come to the end. Some news were shocking tho, like for Viki to be sent to Johor and also included a cute story of Tava who will spend many more years in Kelantan. How about me? I will be in Kelantan, probably will just end my whole life here. I am grateful but why am I not happy enough with this reality while other new teachers probably have been crying in silence to receive the same news as I am one day. I know Allah knows better to give what is the best for me. I did not get Perak, I did not get Selangor and I did not get to teach good schools. How's that??
It is the beginning of another dull plot in an already dull saga. This joy is not entirely true. While my parents' kiss on my cheeks left me with a very sinful emotion of some sort, deep down I tried to conceal the real feelings. I need to reset my mind. Allah is faithful. He will give what I need. He will give nothing beyond my ability to handle, He plans is the best, and He will surely be by my side in the mess and in the pain. With Him in charge, everything would be OK. Well, maybe it is time for me to put forth energy towards everybody near me-parents especially without feeling morally obliged to do so.
There's no other way that I could make myself feels better. Not a single soul in this world can understand how I feel. And maybe I do not understand my own feeling too. Everything is so messed up lately. I should get all the thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, etc. to be back in some degree of order. No, my life is not messy. It is just not like how I dream it to be. As a consequence, I am left as an unhappy but grateful being.
Crap!
After all, I am so gonna love my job.
And I hope it can boomerang '',)
One good thing for today, Muqhlis contacted me, telling that he got 70% for English.
Ya Allah, I love my Tanjung Pauh students so much.
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah
The day that I have been waiting for since May 2013 has finally shown up. All the questions answered in a very undisputable way. All the TESLians are now satisfied as the waiting time has come to the end. Some news were shocking tho, like for Viki to be sent to Johor and also included a cute story of Tava who will spend many more years in Kelantan. How about me? I will be in Kelantan, probably will just end my whole life here. I am grateful but why am I not happy enough with this reality while other new teachers probably have been crying in silence to receive the same news as I am one day. I know Allah knows better to give what is the best for me. I did not get Perak, I did not get Selangor and I did not get to teach good schools. How's that??
It is the beginning of another dull plot in an already dull saga. This joy is not entirely true. While my parents' kiss on my cheeks left me with a very sinful emotion of some sort, deep down I tried to conceal the real feelings. I need to reset my mind. Allah is faithful. He will give what I need. He will give nothing beyond my ability to handle, He plans is the best, and He will surely be by my side in the mess and in the pain. With Him in charge, everything would be OK. Well, maybe it is time for me to put forth energy towards everybody near me-parents especially without feeling morally obliged to do so.
There's no other way that I could make myself feels better. Not a single soul in this world can understand how I feel. And maybe I do not understand my own feeling too. Everything is so messed up lately. I should get all the thoughts, beliefs, assumptions, etc. to be back in some degree of order. No, my life is not messy. It is just not like how I dream it to be. As a consequence, I am left as an unhappy but grateful being.
Crap!
After all, I am so gonna love my job.
And I hope it can boomerang '',)
One good thing for today, Muqhlis contacted me, telling that he got 70% for English.
Ya Allah, I love my Tanjung Pauh students so much.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Amanecer
This is an entry that I secretly dedicate for a good friend of mine. She is a just a simple Chinese girl who is really special beyond her simplicity. We were not as close as after she found Islam.
I can only pray that the light
2010- It was an evening unlike the other. Together with a few friends, we stayed at the uni to listen to a talk organized for Islamic Awareness Week. A well-known speaker from London came all the way to Portsmouth to share with us on the truthfulness of Islamic economy system and a few snippets of advice regarding how to survive in the world of capitalism.
I can only pray that the light
2010- It was an evening unlike the other. Together with a few friends, we stayed at the uni to listen to a talk organized for Islamic Awareness Week. A well-known speaker from London came all the way to Portsmouth to share with us on the truthfulness of Islamic economy system and a few snippets of advice regarding how to survive in the world of capitalism.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Nuggle Cuddle Snuggle
Dear diary,
20 degree C?? Something rare is actually happening.
The outside weather is cold! Here in Kelantan, and you feel like unrolling your mattress at the compound to have a comfortable sleep. I am indulging the cold air with my ears listening to Chicago- Will You Still Love Me together with some kind of 'jiwangness' brought together by the wind. Among all the details that Allah has predestined in the solar systems, this is what I feel so grateful for- the passing cold wind from China. Tell me about it!
Oh well, since I find this too oddly special and I should get it kept here, so that in years to come I can recall that there was a period of time in my life where there is no need for me to feel jealous of those in Siberia who might not know the meaning of fluttering hand fan in a scorchingly hot day like I always do. My place is currently a proto-type of an ideal place to live in. It is a blessing, very minimal yet sufficiently satisfying.
I-don't-need-anymore-lemons-for-lemonade-at least-for-today-tomorrow-and-the-day-after
~No I can't go on.. 'Cause I can't go on..~
20 degree C?? Something rare is actually happening.
The outside weather is cold! Here in Kelantan, and you feel like unrolling your mattress at the compound to have a comfortable sleep. I am indulging the cold air with my ears listening to Chicago- Will You Still Love Me together with some kind of 'jiwangness' brought together by the wind. Among all the details that Allah has predestined in the solar systems, this is what I feel so grateful for- the passing cold wind from China. Tell me about it!
Oh well, since I find this too oddly special and I should get it kept here, so that in years to come I can recall that there was a period of time in my life where there is no need for me to feel jealous of those in Siberia who might not know the meaning of fluttering hand fan in a scorchingly hot day like I always do. My place is currently a proto-type of an ideal place to live in. It is a blessing, very minimal yet sufficiently satisfying.
I-don't-need-anymore-lemons-for-lemonade-at least-for-today-tomorrow-and-the-day-after
~No I can't go on.. 'Cause I can't go on..~
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Marvel
“Shakirah- her name may look plain on paper but the owner.
Frankly speaking, she is someone whom I look up to. Whoever lives with her can
emulate good qualities of a student, friend, sister, and ultimately a future
doctor. She developed her passion in medical field from the start and she works
hard towards achieving her goal. When it comes to work, she will be the most
professional person to contribute in the team. She also projects commendable level
of maturity which enables her to handle things well during ups and down. Above
that, she is still a flexible social butterfly who fits all circles. Despite our
perception of fun at times might be dissimilar, we perpetually share lots of
giggles throughout the journey and we still keep sharing laughs on every time
we catch up. I believe she will make an ideal doctor for the nation. I wish her
the brightest future ahead.”
This is the odd thing that I have done tonight. Yuyu requested me to write a testimonial for RMC yearbook although we were only together for a year in MRSM. Doing this as if I am also a part of her medical school. Pelik bin ajaib but it is such an honour... :D
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Oh Kak Jenny
Dear diary,
I came across some ugly definitions of a word that I initially had doubt creeping in regarding its existence. There is such term as housechild, although unauthorized but sufficiently depressing. As 'siot' as it seems, by definition a housechild is 'old-enough to be a housewife, unemployed, plus has lived away from the house for a period of time and is now coming back to the house just when the parents thought they were finally rid of her". Sheesh!! It has never been easy to get over this ongoing excruciating period of unemployment and uncertainty. It is like you are living alone on another earth that has stopped spinning. You can only witness a normal perfect life portrayed by other people while you helplessly questioning in silence why life is being so unkind to you. And somehow or rather you feel like getting back at world but again, the helplessness is the concern. I know. Allah knows. Only we both know. It is only the sixth day of 2014 and look how unmotivated have I become. Nak kena Ayuni niiii..
I need fresh air! Can the world hear me shouting from this mattress top? :D
While I was hoping for a good excuse for another so-called blissful escapism, Kak Jannah came in with the strongest ever reason to tell abah and mama. She is getting married! OK what is so great about her getting married? Of course it is! Kak Jannah is my naqibah. I have got to see her because.. first, I am pretty sure that it is unlikely to be another next time. The possibility is slowly fading. Second, I have millions of reasons to love her as she was the one who had made every weekend at Wellington more meaningful by prompting us to sit together turning each miraculous pages of Quran. The routine that grew to be more significant from that moment on. So that's it. Seeing Kak Jannah is a must even if It means that I've got to find my own way to her place in Muar.
He made thing easy for me as always. My spontaneous plan has been positively responded by the girls. Everybody seems to be willing travel again from different coordinate to catch up. There had been a few after we parted but it's never enough. Well, this stone gonna get not just two, but maybe three or four birds killed sadistically. I will promise to you el diario that I will get better. I will work on those few do's. Yezzaa..Just another week to go. Muy perfecto ^^
I came across some ugly definitions of a word that I initially had doubt creeping in regarding its existence. There is such term as housechild, although unauthorized but sufficiently depressing. As 'siot' as it seems, by definition a housechild is 'old-enough to be a housewife, unemployed, plus has lived away from the house for a period of time and is now coming back to the house just when the parents thought they were finally rid of her". Sheesh!! It has never been easy to get over this ongoing excruciating period of unemployment and uncertainty. It is like you are living alone on another earth that has stopped spinning. You can only witness a normal perfect life portrayed by other people while you helplessly questioning in silence why life is being so unkind to you. And somehow or rather you feel like getting back at world but again, the helplessness is the concern. I know. Allah knows. Only we both know. It is only the sixth day of 2014 and look how unmotivated have I become. Nak kena Ayuni niiii..
I need fresh air! Can the world hear me shouting from this mattress top? :D
While I was hoping for a good excuse for another so-called blissful escapism, Kak Jannah came in with the strongest ever reason to tell abah and mama. She is getting married! OK what is so great about her getting married? Of course it is! Kak Jannah is my naqibah. I have got to see her because.. first, I am pretty sure that it is unlikely to be another next time. The possibility is slowly fading. Second, I have millions of reasons to love her as she was the one who had made every weekend at Wellington more meaningful by prompting us to sit together turning each miraculous pages of Quran. The routine that grew to be more significant from that moment on. So that's it. Seeing Kak Jannah is a must even if It means that I've got to find my own way to her place in Muar.
He made thing easy for me as always. My spontaneous plan has been positively responded by the girls. Everybody seems to be willing travel again from different coordinate to catch up. There had been a few after we parted but it's never enough. Well, this stone gonna get not just two, but maybe three or four birds killed sadistically. I will promise to you el diario that I will get better. I will work on those few do's. Yezzaa..Just another week to go. Muy perfecto ^^
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