Abah...ma..

I really hope that you can hear this :')

Mental anguish or so-called serabut palo

My blog is left unmoved for almost a month. It is not that I don't have things to be shared but in fact the urge to do that is not there. You know at one point when you have a new gadget it seems that you have the tendency to get attached to it and forget about other things, maybe that is the state where I am at the moment. I sold my iPod off and grabbed an iPhone. I took up watching 'small TV' under my duvet, spend so much time on social networking site, unnecessarily. What I used to do had been abandoned. It is awkward too by not having a diary for this year regardless there are lots of things to be noted and remembered. I know I am not stable. I am so fragile despite the fact that I act normally in front of others. I am so busy with my academic work, social duties which I myself am not sure why do I say yes to so much responsibilities, starting from performing during One World Week, managing props, kursus kahwin, catering paid guests for two weeks and so and so. Not just that, it's quite disappointing too that I waste hundred pounds over on my flight tickets to Athens this April which I assumed to be my last outing abroad before flying back home permanently. My mind is also choked off by worry thinking of do I have enough saving to receive 10 of my family members who are expected to arrive by the end of May. It is not just about money, but whether or not they will be comfortable staying at my house during that holiday period. Last but not least, I could not help acting cool despite my 10,000 word dissertation has no progress since a past month. What a sudden twinge of guilt. Indeed, I really need a wake up call. This March and April will be utilized maximally insha-Allah. Jia you Ayuni!