さようなら

"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind"
I gazed on that quote for a few seconds, viewing from the life perspective of my own. Again, my negative mind is consciously overpowered by the overwhelming sense found from the unknown corner of the brain. The truth is, I am not altogether on Lewis' side in this matter. 2013 started pretty well with practicum and a few other crazy stuffs that we did together as students. In a contradict manner, the following months of the year went into nothingness since I have just trapped at home most of the time. The passing numb months after leaving IPDA has rendered myself cruel to declare that 2013 emitted light the least, in general. But there was one moment this year that the world was able to see every ounce of happiness evident on my face. The event that I have been wanting and waiting for several months. I asked and He listened. Allah looked straight into my heart. I know that. He showed it and I have clearly understood. So 2013, thanks for behaving well so long. You may leave now. :)

8-18

Stop right there! I said to myself this morning. My brain signalled my fingers to do what they were supposed to. Each passing day brings us closer, but have not yet to the point of no return. Fortunately my brain did his job well in taking care of other people's feeling. Beyond that, I have to admit the power of God that is unbeatable. At one point, He hears me. Allah is truly above everything although He did that in the most shocking, saddest, and unexpected way.

People say,
To love is an effort.
To be loved is a bless.

No matter how small the effort is,
No matter how little the love feeling could be,
Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

	كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ ثُمَّ إِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ Every soul will taste death. Then to Us you will be returned 29:57

The deceased that surely will be remembered, if not missed.
Allah will take care of you

Good luck

Dear diary,

Tomorrow is the day of SPP interview. The exposure since the first year I stepped in teaching field will somehow be asked by the selected few experts. Within 5 days I have been struggling to regain some (surely not much) knowledge imparted by the lecturers, and I guess my other coursemates who are currently breathing unpleasantly due to mountaining anxiety are doing the same. Listening to the seniors' stories would not help much. I am still not sure what am I going to see, hear and witness tomorrow. Haih Ayuni just hope for the best. You have gone this far...
Cuak yang amat... For a moment I think I do not know what to say. It's utterly terrifying. Never a second that I enjoy a formal interview.... Uhukhuk

Kompang

• Akhirnya cinta Fakhrul disambut oleh vdaa dengan cara yang diredhai Allah. Mabruk cik Vdaa :) 231113

Namaste ji

Dear diary,

I think Viki, amma, patti, Isha akka n uncle have made it clear about what is meant by kindness. They touched my hard with their deeds throughout my stay in Bangi. For something that is really precious and can hardly be found anywhere, all I can do is to thank Allah.  I really wish that one day Allah will grant me strength to let her see what I saw, to have the same belief like mine, to recite the great words, ultimately. Dakwah is always the incumbent duty tuned out. I feel worthless somehow. Huk3..

Worldwide

I I I I never... never...
as far away as it may seem no
Soon we'll be together
We'll pick up right where we left off

PARIS-LONDON-TOKYO-PARIS-LONDON-TOKYO-PARIS-LONDON-TOKYO-PARIS-LONDON-TOKYO-PARIS-LONDON-TOKYO-PARIS-LONDON-TOKYO-PARIS-LONDON

Worldwide

Lesson malam ini

Dear me,

This was a night with a black eye. It was hidden somewhere, not so easily spotted, but the aura is felt... and so does the creepy stare.

Remember: 

1. Stop painting so much of happy expectation in your mind because that is fundamental in working through avoiding disappointments in the future. Land is where castle can get built, not the air seriously! 

2. Life is about racing with destiny. You just cannot wait all the time since you are actually racing with it. Certain things in life need action rather than patience.

Sob sob sob and those should be just let flown in the limbo silence of the past.

Thankfully, it is not yet stretched to the snapping point. Ok je..

I am ok!

No, I am not!

I am ok!

No, I am not!

2 (I am Ok) + (-2(I am ok)) = 0

=0

=mulut ternganga sikit

Cikgu Nik Abdullah Nik Ibrahim, I personally do not know so much about the life of this man, all his doings, good or bad, I pretty much left untold which is something that I am comfortable with since 'kids' in my family are universally forbidden to poke nose into the elderly's matters. His name appears after my mom's- one thing for sure. He likes my name to also have Hanim when my mom was deciding to name me. Therefore, as a granddaughter I silently blamed him for the time wasted to write my long name when I was small. I heard a story about how he gave my first brother a bicycle for getting the highest rank in the class during primary school but I got nothing although I achieved the same quite a few times.  I know that he is the one who always came to our kampung house and all the grandchildren will kiss his hand to sort of officiate the raya ceremony. He travels using his motorbike all the time from kedai menanti to his child's house of his choice. He pays attention on his appearance as he never seen wearing other than collared shirt tucked in in his slacks completed with a leather belt. At the age of 55 he chose to remarry to a lady younger than my mom. Allah gives him more kids and by the time I was born, I somewhat competed with his own children in seeking for his love and attention. I did not win the game. However, I believe that he must at least has brushed my hair. All I can remember is that he came to see my dad on the weekend to discuss on the education, school, career path, anything significant for the well being of his 'new' children. 

In 2009, I still remember his effort to build a small hut near the entrance of abah's rubber tree farm all by himself with his might so that it would be easier for us to rest after tapping the trees in 5 years time. He was strong, but there is nothing in this world that can last forever. He was unable to stand when we visited him on the eid of 2012. While just sitting on the old chair, he shook my hand, smiled at me and asked whether I manage to bring back any mat saleh from 'Inggeley' to be introduced to him. At that point I realized that he's always joking around with me.^^

I've never thought that it was the last proper converstion between us. Last Syawal we gathered around him. He lied on the mattress but was still able to smile, and respond to our questions. I asked him if he remembers me and he smiled and I could still hear my name came out from his mouth. The next visit shows that he became senile. He kept asking for another plate of food right after eating off one and he cannot remember anybody. 

Weeks after another, slowly Allah is taking whatever capabilities lent to him. Two days ago i could see his eyes opened. He tried to say something but the response he received from his children was nothing but shahada and zikrullah. There was no solid food goes into his mouth. He took only two spoons of Zamzam water. Days before, maybe a sip or two.  His mouth dry, his eyes became reddish and watery. His body turns extremely bony, the flesh sagged downwards, gradually leaving the upper parts. I tried not to stare, but I braved myself to confirm what i heard about his mouth. His tongue sinks while its outer layer came off in flakes and ulcers formed at many areas of the mouth. That might be the reason that he does not want to eat or drink anymore. Kak Nor thinks that he is finishing the remaining sustenance in his life, every little drop of water and every single seed of rice.

And just now he never woke up. He slept soundly with rapid breath. There were a few attempts to wake him up but they just failed. Everybody knows that he is not actually sleeping. I eyed on all faces in that room. What's left in their eyes was nothing other than reflection of sorrow.

May Allah hold his hearing to be the last to go so that he will be able to hear your name before the veil of the next life is lifted.

"His death is moving closer to him"

Abah's voice 

-breaking the silence 

-breaking many hearts 

-breaking down the barrier between us and the undesirable truth

                        **********

19.10.2013

06:45

He's such a great man. 

The world should know this.

=)

Aidil + Adha

I woke up to the sound of wok at the kitchen at 4.30 while my room is spinning  for sitting up so quickly.

The supermom sacrificed her sleep to prepare the nasi dagang.

And then, somehow, the sacrifice is already shown

=)

Salam aidiladha.. Rumahku yg sunyi :'(

Good time

Dear diary,

There is no other better time to say this than now. Good memories will never fade  simply because it lives on in our heart, no matter how hard your mind tries to erase. The bits might be indiscriminately scattered in the brain microchip but they stay, almose readily for us to restore, and probably timeless. A chat with Ipi and Haziq just now proves this very vividly, although the content of our conversation was mainly about silly things, life updates and recalling the past. Indeed, there is a high probability that we will never forget whoever crossed our path and shared good memories along the way. Undeniably, even if we want to forget a particular person, as long as he or she is part of our good time, the memories will be the ruining factor of our effort. And of course, memories and friendship are closely intertwined too. Good friendship will always begets good memories of good times. Ipi is probably right about the wisdom of less is more when having an enjoyable life. Sugar does bring energy and sugar does lead you to ordering your tombstone too >.<

Well, I am looking forward to TESL Portsmouth reunion at Ejat's place this November. She made such a lovely effort to hold a bbq feast just for us to get together. Bless.. =)

Last but not least, I am looking forward to knowing more good friends that my future time may offer because I am hoping for more good times in life. 

Selamat malam dunia

^^

^^

Your words had been immortalized here cik tyah. Suka sgt. Arigato gozaimasu ^^

Dup dap

9.45 malam

Dear diary,

Perbualan mereka sgt menakutkan.

Paling menakutkan dalam sejarah filem komedi.

And I will die soon

Please

DO NOT promise anything mom

On a VERY serious note

Worldwide

Matchmaking

Dear diary,

There are 10 things in my mind about this one process called 'matchmaking'

1. Unnatural

2. Awkwardness

3. Mysterious

4. Expectation

5. Excitement

6. Support

7. Introduction

8. Boredom

9. REJECTION!

10. Falsehood

Hahaha.. Wow I've got so many words in my head but those are the first 10 came out from the keypad are all NEGATIVE! although my capacity in absorbing positivity is somewhat commendable.

ok la makcik2, uncle2 yg berkenaan, and abah and mama sekali of course.. Yuni sebenarnya malu laaaa isk2. Please spare your brain to understand me..saya segaan saya maluuu unless for any 'he' who reached the stage where I feel so comfortable and  I can declare him as friend. Whenever someone is keen to help me finding mr who, I honestly bluff in showing excitement yet I know it is unwise in doing so although bybright with age, comes wisdom (Johnny English fever :P)

Look, in this respect, I often find that the knowing process which is a must in matchmaking is tiring and it is kinda fake to reveal only the good side of yours to impress la kononnya. 

Awak.. Here is my absolute frank admission. Awak, saya ni impolite, gelak kuat.. Sy clumsy, menjahit pun senget, goreng keropok xrata, bc quran tajwid salah2, jenis2 ikan pon xknl..Left alone la jenis2 pisang, the worst part, sy still x memenuhi spesifikasi wanita muslimah..the lesser than two evils bak kata mat saleh. >.<

How easy can it be if you know this so that you can quickly come out with any decision either to proceed or leave. And another thing, I just need a sense of assurance from you. It can't be any simpler than that. But the main thing here is that.. Saya malu utk berkenalan.. Haha.. Choyyyy

Huu sedar x sedar my matchmaking story had already involved 4 different actors who are obviously not renowned. 

Plot sgt hambar dan tiada perkembangan. My fault? could be. If this were a stageplay, we are actually waiting for the rotten tomatoes to be thrown to our faces. Something to be considered by my adiks..if possible find your partner when you are still studying. Don't aim for matchmaking.. For some reasons it's complicated and troublesome. I hope the viewers can stay on their seat till the show ends. (Kruppp krapp popcorn garrett). I'm still busy looking for a diamond among the pebbles because my parents are start complaining, because I am no longer young, because it's time and because I am in the surroundings where getting married at the age below 25 is usual, not rare. Hoho I can't believe that I'm writing about this at wee hours. >.< Insya-Allah...insya-Allah.. Ada jalannya

Swaying head, shaking bum bum

Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase...

Hakuna matata, ain't no passing craze...

Huhh dear diary,

Luckily I have a comfortable Spongebob pillow for me to lay my head on, a blanket to cover me from the harmful world outside, an overused mat underneath to support me from falling. I am going to spit out the rotten scene of today's. It cannot be even more worst I guess. Not only the heat that continued to drain me, Mr F did it again, more explicitly this afternoon. The most that I could do is to think that he could probably have some kind of disease. There is no other option that I have to ensure my anger control toggle works effectively on its own till next week. Anyhow, it was not entirely bad after all throughout the day. As I was entering the staff room, Mr Azmi dragged his chair towards me and made me feel good by saying many teachers have been mentioning my name and saying how good I am as a substitute teacher. Plus, he said that he should give me 1 kg of beef as a sign of gratitude..(ok this sounded unusual..LOL). Another causal of ny cheeks beaming with pride was also when Puan Khamisah told the PMR students that they will surely remember Teacher Ayuni right in front of me. Additional combo would be my favourite Kak Gee and Kak Mi who have said for quite number of times that they will be thankful if I were to be posted to that school permanently. For God sake, I am so pleased for the acknowledgement which I have never expected to hear. Believe me, those beautiful words coming sincerely from their heart really help to avoid my morale from sinking further, but rather making my aim clearer which is to be instrumental in the nation's growth and development!!! hehe.. (Poyoness attacking :P)

Praise to My Greatest Creator for enabling me to do my job at best. There are  5 more days left at the school. Yeah I have made up my mind that I will not stay even if there is a chance for PPD to hire me again. No, for several reasons. For one, Tun Mahathir's word of wisdom quoted from his final speech when he was still ruling the country- "Pesan mak saya, kita kena berhenti makan ketika masih berasa sedap dgn mknn tu". Yep, while people are still loving you, show your respect towards them and then step back. Just leave them with good memory and find your own way afterwards.

It's a problem free...

Philosophy.. Hakuna matata.

 

Buddies

Dear diary,

Perhaps all of them are now travelling back to their respective place. 2 days together would never be enough, but I swear that their presence means so much to me. Thanks to Adib for being awesome that his friends will be so inclined to stick to him :P thanks to Faten for making the situation less awkward for me for being surrounded by the unknowns, those nice Melorians in particular. Macha with his hillarious analogy 'fight in relationship is like life and pernafasan' I could not imagine how my politeness gone when my laughed amplified unintentionally. He became so popular among the Kelantanese ladies for his commitment 'showcased' especially during the walimah. Lol.. Juju is also very friendly. Our second met was just like for years. He is among a pleasant surprise. And suffice for El for just being himself- handsome and cool. That's our Vicente. That was not much that we did bit we really enjoyed our laziness, talking about every little things about the past. IThanks guys for coming to Kelantan. Your visit confirms this one famous theory- absence makes heart grow fonder. Cewah.. Until we meet again friends.

So long the memory creeps

So long the value stays

Now I am laying my hand on my forehead trying to convince my heart that we Teslians are not under the same roof anymore after living together for the past 6 years.

The feeling is awful >.<

I will let you off this time my dear heart. Please be strong to accept the fact.

 

At the other corner of the world, Tazi is flying to the sacred land of Mecca, fulfilling the 5th pillar of Islam. I hope that she would enjoy the experience along the journey of becoming hajjah at a very young age. May Allah provide you with what you need the most, buddy ^^

Oh ya, not forgetting wing- mate at mrsm, Wan Amira Ruzaini aka Mia.

She has got married to a lawyer, breaking the curse of Tepaksireh in the most dramatic way ~ all the best for her as well.

First timer

Dear diary,

Finally 5th of Sept will be arriving in a moment. I hope the next 3 days gonna bring something exciting and wonderful for me and Ipi and of course to the whole school. In its simplicity, I believe this gonna be sth worth spending time for. Insya-Allah :))
Semoga slmt semuanya

Forever... Atuk pergi

:'(

Semoga atuk ditempatkan di kalangan mukminin

Kalau diizin Allah kita jumpa lg

Innalillahiwainnailaihirajiun

Eh jap jap jap korang!

Dengar sini 

Tazi 

Ipi

Tyah

Ejat

Sumpah rindu korang tahap xingat punya...

Bila sesuatu itu sgt best, 6 tahun pon xckp. Mereka yg mengenali diri ini hampir menyamai family.

 

Semoga dipertemukan lagi dlm edisi akan datang

:')

...How.lucky.i.am.to.have.somebody.who.can.make.goodbye.so.bitter...

:)

Dear diary,

Lesson for today:

A Moment of Patience in A Moment of Anger Prevents A Thousand Moments of Regret

Smlm pegi pinjam kain. Teacher mmg smgt sgt nak mencantikkan gerai aidilfitri esok utk kls kita especially lps dgr Sir Nazifi announced ada pertandingan stall cantik. Dalam otak nak buat scallop sana sini kasi gempak sikit. Teacher sms awk utk tnya td lps asar free x? Panggil kwn2 kita deco garage kelas. Pg td pkl 10.30 awk reply ckp 'teacher kita jumpa pukul 12 eh'. Decision korg teacher agree n x question lgsg. Ok fine even pkl 12 jumaat tcr mmg kitchen duty lunch abah balik jumaat. Teacher Still nak pegi thinking of korg busy wpun teacher hrp sgt bekerja ptg2. 11 plus2 tcr still mengajar kls upsr. Korg antar lg sms tanya kt mn. Teacher kalut balik rumah amik beg2 kain tu and pegi ke sekolah. Teacher sampai kat sekolah, sunyi sepi. Park kereta pukul 11.57. Teacher call awk kat mana n awk ckp "teacher, sy xpegi sek saya kat rumah.. Classmates lain ada dlm kls". Ok da berasap. Sy menapak ke kls jauh tu n found out kls kosong sunyi cm rumah hantu fun fair murah. Teacher call awak lg and awak ckp.

"Dah teacher lambat diorang balik laa. Sape suruh tcr lambat". Sumpah ayat awak sgt annoying.. 

"Tadi kn awk ckp dtg pkl 12. Teacher sampai 11.57 itu ke lambat? Lambat ape bendanya???" 

Sumpah nada suara tertinggi utk sem ini. Heat surrounding campur heat dlm hati. Memang boleh generate power. Dari planet mana korang ni dtg sbnrnya????

Agaknya dosa tcr di zaman silam la ni dpt students mcm korang. Ataupun korang tidur time math. Topic Time  in Standard 2, tu yg konsep jam still kabur lagi tak tahu awal lambat,walaupun umo da 16.  Tapi kesabaran itu penting. Ikutkan hati panas ni nak je hang up call and balik terus. Tapi... Teacher suruh awk dtg n teacher pilih untuk tunggu even buat keje sorang..

Xsure ikhlas ke x, awk dtg akhirnya dgn bj krg mcm pegi kenduri. Berlenggang. Tali yg pesan xde. Nothing. Dtg ngn helmet je. Maybe awk plan helmet tu boleh jd pasu bunga. And teacher yg memanjat2 ni suruh awk ikat dawai hujung lagi satu, awak pandang teacher n ckp "saya kena panjat ni? Saya kena ikat?"

Awak ikat sikit. N x sampai 10 minit ckp "boleh sy balik?". Walaupun awk nmpk tc still berbelit2 dgn kain. Byk lagi nk sangkut kat tiang atas.

Bila tcr blah keluar dr sek, terserempak dgn awk ngn motor. Td nak blik sgt apsal muka awk ada lg?? Awk snyum. Tcr xleh nak bls. Xmampu.. 

Awak pernah tgk x mesin buat patty burger? Dlm tu la tcr igt nak humban awk. Buat patty.. Pastu jual kat kedai daging dkt entrance asda.

...and make sure sebelah tray patty daging awak ialah tray daging steak babi hutan. Side by side.

Nasib baik tcr x mengajar awk. Hoho. Jgn kata ilmu, kalau tcr ni pokok pon blm tentu tcr bg oxygen kat awk.

and td awk sms lg yg berbunyi:

"Teacher pg esk tcr amik sy kt rmh tau!"

***speechless***

Hari ini.. Bila jumpa balik beraya, rs benci hilang mcm tu je ^^ seronok je jaga stall ramai2.

Cikgu mn xsyg students, xwujud. Huk2

Kepada awak.. teacher mntk maaf zahir batin. Tolong respect sikit. Teacher mmg la guru ganti but guru is guru.

Well, So not me lah membenci org ^^ at last perasaan syg jugak menang.

...and yg paling busuk dlm banyak2 perkara, pertandingan stall cantik xwujud. Sir Nazifi sekadar berseloroh taklimat hr tu.

Dunia ini kejaaam sangat. Bukan tentera Mesir je, org Kelantan pon. Aaaaaa!

Eye to eye

Kelopak mata kiri asyik 'berkerdip' sepanjang hr.
Apakah maksudnya?
Hasil pembacaan:
1. Akan mendapat kebaikan
2. Mendapat berita buruk
3. Mendapat wang
4. Orang yg jauh atau lama terpisah ingin berjumpa dgn kita. (Wahh)
5. Ketidakseimbangan nutrisi

Ok, eye twitching ni psl mslh pemakanan sahaja. Nothing serious.
Lebih2 krg syirik plk.
But seriously menganggu >.~

Angry bird

Dear diary,

Rage overwhelming. If Rovio can be so smart with the invention of Angry Bird, I think our Rector should be proud too for giving birth to the Angry TESLians. 

Truthfully, please convince me that how attending graduation hosted by the Uni can be an improper action? Why can't we attend both as we had been educated by both varsities. It's our hardwork, our money, our effort and our right. Tsk tsk..what's wrong with that? For numerous times there have been so many good things promised and when the time comes, there will be one or two people let us down. Those from upper position can be a bit of pain sometimes. Is that the unwiseness on our side to do simple things that may perceived by little others as unnecessarily over manner, or somebody's imbecility covered by the highly acknowlede certs? Anger had to do with what is set in mind, admitted fact. Maybe I am at fault for not be able to accept the situation at worst. There is a serious need for a change in mentality. The question is whose, and how?

Ntah la... things went so wrong for the whole day yesterday since morning, since the English period of 2KMT3 and the unwanted announcement on TESlite was roughly the climax. Macam biskut raya, the respect that I have for the upper people is reducing. Kena istighfar banyak sebelum jadi serdak. I feel sour, I feel blue. 

Oh God, please send someone to give me a lift to my dream happy place- pleasure beach Blackpool. 

Hukhuk. That is too much. 

How about a generous amount of anesthetic for my emotion desensitisation? 

That is also a no-no.

Ntah la belalang.. The world may look so fair for everyone to enjoy, but there are people who don't. Does anyone care? NO! 

Suka meracau bila emosi terganggu. Habit.. Habitual action. Guna Present Tense >.<

Zz

Pillow talking with Mia and Izza
Mia: Kak Yuni igt x?
Me: Amende
Mia: Form berape? Form 1. Form berapa? Form 1. Form berapa? Form 1



Jgn balik please Mia. Sakit perut Kak Yuni :D)
Apa khabar ma n abah di sinun? Huuu

:(

Advice from the holy Quran

2 Uranus

A delayed post, Yesterday was the best day ever- spending time with the best classmates throughout the years of schooling.Yang paling best ialah Form 2. Diakui oleh kami semua :D)

Akim- Mechanical engineer UTM

Buna- Electrical Engineer- Michigan Univ US

Paih- Automotive Engineer- UTM

Afaf- Aircraft Engineer -MIAT

Afifah - Future Medical Dr -Trinity College Dublin

Ainsyah - Masters student in Biotech - UIA

Aini - Future Phd Doctor in Biotech - Brisbane Uni OZ

Cikgu Mat Yassim. I want to be like you. TQVM :-)

Hujan Meteor

2.26 pg terjaga diri tidur-cari kunci rumah-keluar tgk langit- ... (to be continued)


Dear diary,
There is always a new beginning and things will change and this phenomenon is applicable on almost everything in the metamosphosis of life, physically and psychologically. Like this house, I used to have a big swing but now there is no more, there is no even space for a badminton match, Elleya used to carry her own diaper bag but today she has already become a sweet 10 year old girl who loves to steal my limited make up set and even worst, claiming that the  Mr Z is perfect and she would love to see him to be her new uncle. I used to look as big as baby elephant in my secondary school with 70kg plus of weight..huk2..and perhaps in 90's abah was handsome, oh wait, abah is still handsome despite the ongoing tooth enamel loss. isk3..

Perubahan..perubahan. It is an unstoppable and unavoidable phase of life which I always tend to deny in spite of the belief that the end results can be beautiful through the changes that may not always be pretty. Things will never stay the same as people will keep on going through their own colourful life transition in the process of growing up. The bottom line is, we must accept everything with smiling heart to keep smile stay on face :) Anyway, I would like to express my gratitude for the the indirect 'confession' made which I really appreciate.  I wonder what actually makes you keen to read all the rubbish I pasted here. I wonder how how a person like you who I do not know so much can be somebody who knows the inner me very well. I wonder if there is anything remain the same in the current you like the old you who I know and I miss

 :)


(continuation) Negatif. X nampak sebarang unsur meteor Perseid pon.

Yep. Contoh terbaik ialah meteor Perseid. Obses sgt >,<
Jgn percaya sgt berita Bernama.
Jgn mengharapkan kehidupan seindah drama Korea
Sadaqallah

Selamat tinggal Ramadhan

Selamat Hari Raya. Sayu je bila teringatkan Ramadhan yg berlalu. Rasa x deserve untuk celebrate raya thinking of qiamullail yang kurang beria compared ngan last year. Semoga amalan yg walaupun terhad tetap diterima Tuhan. semoga dipertemukan lagi dengan Ramadhan akan datang. Semoga family maintain bahagia, dijauhi dari musibah. Semoga lebaran ini segala plan terlaksana dengan baik. Semoga maaf yg dipohon diiringi dengan keikhlasan hati. Semoga kemaafan yg diberi juga dengan setulus hati.

Ya muhaimin
Ya muhaimin
Ya muhaimin
Allahumma ameen

Ramadhan 28.
Gembira.
Syukur.
:)

Hehe
Syoknya..

:)
:)

Boleh sambung tidur skrg :)

Supremacy

The presence of Jack and Jamie had really made my days that have not been so rosy of late. Their sunniness are like the buds with the power of dispelling gloom. I love every single days that I have to rush back from school just to be with them apart from the main agenda of teaching Jack to read while strengthening the 3Rs knowledge that had been acquired by Along (Jamie). It is far more exciting to teach them with 100% English as compared to teaching those caballeros of Form 5 who look like somebody's son-in-laws but can hardly understand even the kindergarten English instruction. Entering the third week, I am aware that I have not yet done much for Jack due to my poor ability of making him concentrate while I am teaching. Nevertheless, I could assure to his mom that he is now able to read more syllables while Jamie is becoming more comfortable with his present ability. Bless. I am fully aware that tomorrow is the final lesson with them. Hence, since as early as Sunday my mind has been 'deliberately meddled' in thinking what should I do during my final lesson with them. While invigilating PMR trial exam I cracked my head to write a simple letter to Jack. I wish that this letter will be the first letter that he will read as soon as he can. Perhaps something like "I will always be in Kelantan, make it as a point to come back again, or Raya has been done me really good, you should not give up, keep in mind that everybody looks up to you too, not only Jamie"..whatever words that can evoke positivity to Jack. However, that letter was unfinished. A few Form 2 kids were kind of terrible nuisance during the exam and they actually cut off my writing. That plan stopped there and I plan to continue it tonight since there is a plenty of time before tomorrow. Today's lesson was great too. Jack and Jamie enjoyed much the maze activities although it was ended a bit early because both of them are still wheezy after an asthma attack. We played "what is the thing game" which is their favourite routine before I leave the house everyday. Just now before leaving I took some random photos again although there will still be tomorrow. That Mak Usu started making me sad by saying "hurm lepas ni rindu la kat teacher, xde dah esok last". I guess Mak Usu is not quite right. That statement should go the other way. While driving home I thought It would be nice if I give them cookies tomorrow. After terawikh will be ok to bake simple things like cookies a giant one like those sold at UK Tesco. I know they will enjoy it much by looking at the condition of their teeth...heheeh. That sudden plan caused a sharp turn to supermarket. A perfect cookie comes from expensive and quality ingredients. Van Houten choc chips will do, insya-Allah. Owing to the limited lot, I parked the car terribly and rushed to the mart. Yeah, tonight just bake the cookies, print the final exercise sheets and a love letter to Jack and Jamie. Fortunately, I left a stick of butter out from the fridge too. Yeay. I feel so excited to see them munching my cookies tomorrow. I also want to retell about the ghost story.I know how far their mind has been influenced by my story of how a kid will turn into pocong after being 7 days in the grave if the drink the coloured water from the colour pencil dust. While I was getting ready for the kitchen war, with the Van Houten ready, I received a text from Kak Esya, "Dik, we need to go back to KL tomorrow, emergency reason. TQ so much. Please give your bank details for this week payment:)".

...

Sorry keyboard for making you wet
:'(

Last 10 nights

Quoted dari Ustaz PK HEM assembly pagi semalam dengan telinga separa fokus sambil main game
  >.<
-Allah mengurniakan lailatul qadar sebab Dia consider umat Nabi Muhammad paling pendek umurnya.
-Ganjaran paling besar bulan Ramadhan ialah ibadah yang paling rare untuk dilakukan syuru' dan dhuha. Allah tidak boleh membayar ganjaran even dengan satu pelusuk dunia
-Sepanjang Ramadhan pahala sunat menjadi fardhu
-Cara berdoa yg afdhal: Asma ul Husna 3x then berdoalah banyak2. Yep, if we don't now that person takkan nak bagi hadia plk. Sama la konsepnya nak minta dengan Allah walaupun dia Al-Waliy :)

Solacing ^_^ source especially tgh2 malam 

Selamat beramal. Gear up! Madrasatu Tarbiyatu Ruhi ni beberapa hari lagi dah nak tutup untuk sesi 2013. Target saya ialah meloloskan diri untuk masuk Syurga melalui pintu ke 8- untuk org yg memejamkan mata dari perkara yg haram, beramal soleh,berbakti kepada org tua dan menyambung tali persaudaraan dan menjadi ahli Syurga Adnin yg akan dibisikkan oleh para Malaikat siap2 sebelum wafat An-Nahl:32. Berbekalkan kompas hati (iman) yang banyak kali jarumnya senget2..terpengaruh dengan magnet2 kejahilan.Memang flawed habis T.T

Taking the road

Huu susahnya nak buat keputusan. 17 Aug. Wedding cousin di hotel kat Putrajaya or wedding faizuan n Siti di Kelantan? Ya Allah.. Stress betul kalau ada 2 big events on the same day. selalu buat ala2 the Flash untuk join both, but this time memang impossible. Sepupu yg tidak rapat dan janji untuk tlg drive untuk ayah atau wedding kawan sekelas mrsm n kls sblh mrsm yg epic an get a chance to meet my college mates after spm? Last year pon I regret once in making wrong choice. The biggest dice on earth pon will never satisfy me. I choose friend this time. Macam mana nak create ayat yg plg best utk satisfy parents?? =.= aduuuh.. Nervous... Mcm mn nii..and I know I wont be entirely happy to chase for friends at te expense of letting down abah and ma. There are times in life you disappoint people you love and similarly people you love may also disappoint you. That cycle goes like that lah kot to one degree or another, inevitably. I reaaaaally2 wish that they don't mind not having me around. Hope abah can drive well to KL. Betulke ni? Feel like banging my head to the wall now

Orang baru

Dear diary,

Today's iftar took place at Kg Pulau Hilir like how it has been done for past years. As we gathered there, my closest cousin made a huge surprise which is introducing his girlfriend to the whole family. She just finished her SPM last year and this year she is concentrating on the vision of the relationship as in making one step further after another. Yup, the moment has arrived in a sense that everybody seems to move on in their life as how it should be. My friend-like cousin who is the only family member who adresses me as 'awak' is now having somebody to care more during family events. I've lost him, but that is not exactly the point. When Ipi said that she will get married soon that day also impacted me so deeply. Hello, I am a latte lover. It is said that those who prefer latte of other types of coffee-based drink is always reflective but indecisive. Lol. Something needs to be changed perhaps? Like mom said I guess I should not resist myself from getting into a serious man-woman relationship like how my cousin does. There are canals to be loosened up too. Plus, jodoh perlu diusahakan jgk. :) Haih.. Like the earth beneath my feet, that is how silent you are. Please show up soon. :)

3 ciri untuk mengenali jodoh: 3m- memahami, memaafkan, memotivasikan diri ke arah yg diredhaiNya-husnul khatimah

:)

5K4

Day 5 at the school. Apa yg boleh dikatakan, 5K4 masih dlm top ranking kelas yg plg mencabar. Sedih mengenangkan 7 heroes tu. Handsome sihat semua tapi xnk belajar, membaca xlancar, critical sangat. Rasa kesian bila tgk cikgu lain yg msk kelas tu membawa magazine, selak3 bunyi je loceng keluar. If 5 tahun dlm kls akhir n layanan cikgu mcm tu, so what can be concluded, tidak akan berlakunya sebarang pembinaan utk kemajuan. Smlm bila tanya ada buku je x they just replied kitorg dtg sekolah xperlu buku. Too bad =.=..zz. Bila sy nk koyak buku sdiri br diorg kalut nk keluarkn apa2 kertas bwh meja. Berjaya ajar adverb of manners ngn contoh yg mudah. Alhamdulillah depa stay kat tmpt duduk slm 40 mnt tanpa usha2 girls kat luar, bergaduh or buat perangai. Tadi bila nak ajar membaca, sy tanya smlm mcm mn nak ckp psl verb? 2,3 org answered ly..ly.. "Walk slowlyy".. Rasa sebak. Jadi la tahu sikit. Happy sgt. Lebih bermakna dr merit. Semoga usaha ini dipermudahkanNya. 5K4 sangat perlu dibantu. Sangat yg teramat.

Confusion

I am now trapped in a state of confusion. I find myself disoriented in a sense of future planning. Yes, the place where I will be posted really matters to design the pattern of life that I gonna live. I wish I can work in Kelantan, but there are a few times that I want to migrate like how abah did. Go somewhere else, meet new people,live in new surroundings. Being away for a few years somehow had changed the way I think. Nevertheless, it is absolutely wrong to say that I am mentally prepared to be sent to Sabah or Sarawak. Those states never exist in my mind, nor my eyes to imagine. I want to take care of my parents but Kelantan is not the land where I wanted my house poles being erected. No, I don't want. When abah said the principal of Sekolah Menengah Sains Pasir Puteh is interested to arrange that I will serve at that a school, what can I see in my eyes is nothing. It is all dark, lonely, and quiet. That sounds good if than nothing, but I just don't want to be here as early as 24. Give me life for 1 year or 2, at least before I have my own family. Once in Kelantan, will always be in Kelantan. Abah will get really upset if he knows this. I know. That might be a reason too that I don't want to show my excitement. It is very hard to tell, but if only abah knows what is hidden in my mind T.T no, tak nak. Please I don't want.

How to save your heart

The list appears to be: Simple-Straightforward-Sensible-Sane
#self-taught

little by little

4.03 am

Take 5..
8 pages to go..
Energy is slowly dying out..
Sat na cheq,, I shall give you one nice break wahai laptop.

(***Psst..Dr Izzati Zahari, in case awok napok ni,,pnh dgr x lagu ni? Rsnya thp best dio sama level ngn insan bernama kekasih dh :-)

My Chemical Romance

When I was a young boy,My father took me into the city,To see a marching band,He said "son when you grow up"Will you be the saviour of the broken,The beaten and the damned
He said will you defeat themYour demons and all the non-believersThe plans that they have made..
-_-_and this all time fav song ends here_-_-
To that particular dad, should I give my response on behalf of your son?Yeah demons their comrades are not around in Ramadhan. They are locked up somewhere, with their legs chained. Al-Bukhari confirmed that. The gates of Paradise are open whereas the gates of Hellfire are closed.
But.. I've been defeated instead
Why does the thought keep coming in my terawikh..obviously not the plan of demons??Is it another form of image, dream in the past, or something occult, perhaps beautiful, long2 time ago, for sure not so significant yet remain steady in this mind... 
I just want a better tomorrow, specifically a better terawikh tomorrow.
~~Krikk2~~

:')

Assalamualaikum Encik or Cik diary (or unisex kah? :D)
Cerita hari ni perlu dikongsi. Memandangkan printed diary is prone to the heartless pest, i tnink it would be nice to be immortalized here. Safe, private, insya-Allah selamat je. Or maybe dgn pembaca dr Klang itu juga. (I guess I know who..u told me once kt London dulu you own a secret blog.unfair... T.T). Dengan niat utk membuka mata sesiapa shj yg stumble upon this site, Sorry rojak sikit post ni.

"You need to migrate yuni if you want to work" viki ckp
"Kelantan ni xde pape ma...org xpentingkn education.lagi excited nk raya kot dr nk hire tutor. lain la kat KL nuu. Mana ada culture tutor dtg rmh mcm org kaya2 kat sini.."saya cakap
"kak yuni masak je utk abah.hujung bulan abah bagi elaun sara diri 3,4 ratus" abah ckp

Semua quotes yg tidak memotivasikan diri menghantui 3,4 hari ni. Job offer plk mengajar Fizik form 5..the subject that I hate the most. Cuba jgk tgk balik buku tu..yes, looks like the content are all written in urdu scripts. Haremm tak faham satu apa.Xigt, x confident after a few times that I tried to remarry the Fokus U Fizik yg tebal tu. Maaf Cikgu Zainal.Ilmu cikgu bagi xlekat T.T
Suffice to say, saya blame nasib diri yg dilahirkan di  tmpt yg kurengg 'money booming'. Apatah lg bila rakan2 seprjuangan bukan main aktif menjadi guru ganti..Seriously xde cigu beranak di daerah ini selain cikgu Fizik tu?? T.T. Stress jugak dgn nature sy yg suka komitmen. Betul kata Ipi :D

Dipendekkan cerita, hari ini bermula dgn kecergasan as early as 7 am. Dapat call dr kwn yg maybe ada mutual desire untuk borak2..And I got to know about his family history yg pernah berniaga kecil kecilan which is totally out of my mind by looking at who he is today. Kat situ dah rs mcm oh wow, spirit boosting sgt...sgt. I look back at my life,,,xprnh rasa kaya but at least xprnh rs susah. Dr kecil set colour pencil Luna tu ada, maybe 12 bukan set 36, tp at least colour pencils tu xpernah xde.

Selepas itu..sy submit thesis Yanti. Tgh hari tu parents balik tunjuk beg.Sgt random mak belikan skirt sehelai,,wah terharu.Abah suruh belikan..huu TQ Abah.sgt comel.. Yup, niat nk krgkn pakaiseluar. Ladies will be nicer in skirt...sopan sikit kot. And I told myself at that moment nak let go baju Polo yg obviously pendek, x ikut sunnah n if pakai kena angkat tudung nk nampak kuda polo tu.Saya akan pakai kalau tergantung dlm almari so better benda disappear for my own good,.hajat nk jual n tup2 dtg pula seorg brother ni nk beli direct kat rmh. Semudah ABC birthday present Pompey itu berpindah pemilik for RM100 walaupun sedih thinking of hours spent pusing RL kat Gunwharf tu.sorg2 plk tu...Syukur lagi.. :)) After that, Yanti sms dgn penuh kegembiraan dgtn thesis nya yg barangkali dh berubah ke arah positif sikit. Maybe dia terus berlari2 riang ke bank untuk byr. dlm 15 minit mcm tu terus bank in. OK alhamdulillah again..

Masuk bilik, dpt sms plk dr Pusat Tusyen Wassis. Sila dtg segera mengisi borang. Kami mengalu-alukan kedatangan cik..Ommo..yes yes!! seronoknya. This gonna be my FIRST organization that I gonna work with. Sekolah tu xkira..xsabar nak register esk. 4 days without reply, alih2 ada. sapa la yg send tu, encik or cik betul2 kacak n lawa di mata sy.sumpah!

Positive meter masih menyala2 bila Yanti contact lg. Kawan dia plk rs tercabar n nak jugak her writing to be proofread. n i said fine.Pukul 6 petang tu Ipi plk tanya free tak kalau ada org nk upah proofread..Rasa nak peluk jugak Ipi,, yeyyyyyy. Pukul 9 mlm td, I gave my 100 hasil proofreading yg pertama to my parents. In fact xkesah pon duit..hoho.amik la ma 50 n abah 50.nampak muka terharu/diorg. I slowly entered my room n dr dlm pon dgr lg ma plan nk beli apa with that money..mama tanya lg betul ke nk bg ni, your effort kot//n i shout dgn macho..amik la ma..it's fine.i believe this will generate more rezeki..gelak2 sikit.

Ok, sambung2 check thesis kawan Yanti sampai pkl 2, Jenuh gk nk handle thesis yg ni..tp terus jgk sbb da jnji ini malam juga akan submit. dkt nk tido tu dpt plk email dr tuition job. satu website yg sy rs 2% je possibility ada org nak cr tutot kelate..daerah pasir puteh yg terpencil plk tu.and I finally saw this "Akak cr tutor utk anak akak. Akak dr Wangsa Maju tapi akak nak puasa kat Gong Kulim Pasir Puteh sepanjang Ramadhan. Akak xnk pelajaran anak akak ni terabai..dia mix malay chinese scottish, Harap dpt mengajar 2-3 jam sehari" Ya Allah...xsgka ada..2-3 jam sehari..sepanjang Ramadhan. What else that I want? Definitely, it is going to be great..

1. Ini rezeki Ramadhan
2. Kena yakin dgn rezeki Allah
3. Buat apa-pun kena ikhlas
4. Lapangkanlah hati parents dengan semudah-mudah cara

With so much love and affection,

I love you Allah

Baitul rahmah

Ismi Ayuni, Taqo'u baity fil Injiliziyah fi syari' hadsun. Askunu fi hunaka ma'a sodiqati aqrobun min qalbi. Hunna Izati, Afiqah Wa viki. Nahdasu da'iman fi amam albabul bait. Uridu an azhabu ila baituna kathiran. Mumkin sa'azhabu ila hunaka marrotanni?

Rindunya 12 Hudson ^_^

Proofreading Service

Hello. To all the title above may concern:

1.Do you feel less confident in your writing (dissertation, thesis, academic report, research paper)?

2.Are you not trusting the on-line grammar editing apps?

3.Do the proofreading services you know cost you a fortune?

Well, you might consider to let me proofread your work, give direct corrections and suggest rewording of your sentences. Necessary thorough editing and adherence to the fixed date are guaranteed ^^

Should you feel interested, do contact me via email nns.ayuni@gmail.com or wechat (ID: sayaayuni)
The price is negotiatable + 'wechatable' :)

Inhale exhale zz

Test test..
Dengan ini saya..
Merayu pada pihak OUM
Tolong lah terima sy sebagai temporary tutor.
Saya berjanji akan menggunakan segala potensi diri saya untuk meningkatkan prestasi OUM!!

Before this little encephalon get rusted, oh Tuhan, give me a STRONG reason to get out of bed.
Kelantan will give you peace but wont get your career developed... Betull. I could hardly believe that I'm going through this dull life.ok xnk mengeluh. I need a plaster on my lips..

Borneo trip

Why oh why

Dear diary,
Tomorrow is May 20 which is the beginning of Kem Bina Insan Guru.  A program that will test the ability to withstand life discomfort which is purposely created. Somehow I try to make myself understand the relevance of all this nonsense requirement but who am I to question or to put myself at loggerhead in opposing the tradition. Poie yo lah.. Pasrah T.T. I cannot imagine how to survive with millions of leeches in the lake. If it is written that I will die because of leeches breeding in my body, be it. If not, come la whatever gene of leeches. I will hit all of u sharply, add some stir fry sauce.. And come everybody have a taste!!
OMG I could foresee myself screaming like mad. Mcm jerit dlm lif disakat oleh Rol. Or perhaps louder than that...

self-esteem, why are you being so poor?

Dear diary,

This is my blog. The place where I can simply throw words and write about emotions of my own. I feel bad, I feel so bad. There is this one guy whom I do not like and do not care about his existence but he seems to be interested to know me. Then, just now he sent a message asking my friend's hp no. This is not the first time. Few weeks ago my student saw me walking with my friend and out of nowhere my student approached me for the intention of getting my other friend's hp number..When I was in form 4, yes Haziq asked for Afifah's number and well in form 5 there was one handsome guy in my batch who were quite close with my own elder sister..then again my own teacher requested to get to know my sister too..huu sape lg..I never give a damn to such thing..but tonight it makes me think, too many times that I have unofficially appointed to be the source of the beautiful people's contact no. My name is Ayuni and I am half human half instrument for some guys. too many times count.This has been happening for years. Do not blame me for being unhappy!

"Everyone is beautiful in some way" said by the most positive person on earth.huu ye la sgt. I have a problem of poor self-confidence because I never once comey. I am UGLY. I am UGLY. UGLY I am..huu huuu..~I feel shy with how I look while my friends around me are born with what is considered pretty and cute by the society. I am the ugliest in my family. My sister is fair and petite like my mom. She has almost everything. Of course I cannot stop from getting jealous, but I never harm anybody..It's just that I feel so intimidated..Yadai yadai "At least you have 10 fingers, at least you can walk, at least you don't look like niggars"..this thoughts never help. Semua adalah satu pembohongan, more or less like the previous PRU. Opps..back to my case, I am not getting nearer to gaining confidence or embarking my day by exclaiming to my own reflection that I look good. It is very hard...tsk3.. One question! Is it possible that if I make my life beautiful, then I can feel the same? Betul ke tak betul? Confidence hilang..lenyap secara tiba2...and it is incurable at the moment. Ya Allah!

no title

Every cross matters

Who deserves my vote!!?
Diluah mati emak ditelan mati bapak..
Bapak suruh pangkah yg ni... Tv ckp yg tu... Internet ckp mcm ni... Risalah dpn rumah ckp macam tu... Article 10 minit dsai ckp mcm ni... 50dalil anwar xlayak jadi pm ckp mcm tu..
org yg sumpah ckp tu... Tertuduh ckp ni.. Mahathir ckp mcm tu..
What a wonderfool world

>.<

I'll bring a coin this Sunday

Selamat panjang umur

Happy birthday ma -26.4.2013
Kalau la yuni mewarisi at least 5% drpd sifat keibuan mama..ada kemungkinan yuni da bergelar puan skrg.. Eh ehe eh >.<
Mama.. Kito jupo weekend dpn

Goodbye kids

Dear diary
It's 4am and i'm still in the study room working on my final lesson which will not be executed because tomorrow is my final day of practicum. I just cnt imagine that my final days in smktp turn out very beautifully nearing to the final stop. For God sake, I will remember my students, the choral speaking group, my super understanding and supportive cr, my father-like principal, and the whole school. The exhausting nights and duties are paid off today when the principal rewarded us with cert of excellence service in the school throughout the 12 weeks. The surprise pot luck head by kak sofiah, and also the pk hem who never fails to make me laugh and add more calories in my body with his home made cendol. The gift from english dept, the teddies... And of course a teddy from one of my boys who seemed to admirer his teacher very much. (Terasa la hot sekejap):P.. This morning was the best, the cs team were loaded in my car like sardines and i had to drive for a few trips to bring them out, drinking barley.. What else.. Fahmi's joke, zulhelmi's over acting.. And the scene where me viki fahmi zinil and anis were in my car and i attempted to hit aliff who was walking like mak nenek.. ..memorable.. all the things..Anis najwa's laughter, faralisa, kak syahida's appreciation.. Semua lah.. Semua :') I had a perfect life as a practicum teacher, indeed. And the best part of all, now i can get my heart convinced that this career suits me best. I can officially erase my past failure of not be able to do medicine. No more doubt. I love teaching. Full stop. One final day tomorrow. See you guys!

Sisterhood

Dear diary,
Akhirnya tercapai juga impian nk berjalan dgn Anis. My only younger sister tmpt share prob..(mcm xpernah je :P), tmpt ketawa..tmpt mengumpat adik-beradik.(ops). Yes, my only adik yg sy xsedar pertumbuhannya. 3 tahun terpisah in fact merupakan jangka masa yg boleh merenggangkan. Anis mengalami perubahan hidup, there were lots of things yg Kak Yuni xtahu, kira mcm dirahsiakan la...huhu. it's ok..I'm accepting the fact that she has so many sisters when studying in single sex boarding school, a lot of options I'd say. I cannot deny that it's hurting to think about the invisible distance. I have kakak and abang..they are all married and they have their own family to think about. Berlaku lah proses natural iaitu kerenggangan hubungan atau term yg lebih intellectual-emotional distance with her. She's 24-7 dok ngan hp, quality time ngan kak yuni da berkurangan..huhu.So, kedatangan Anis ke Jitra weekend hari tu sgt la bermakna. We were together for 3 days, went to Pasar malam, visited Thailand, jogged at the Lake, relaxed at my favourite 'mystery' spot at Kepala Batas airport, makan cendol pulut, pusing Alor Setar..best gila. And I believe that as a sister I had played my part very well to keep her safe and to make her on bus journey worth. After giving her a lift to the bus station, Iwent back to my hostel. I received a sms from Anis. "Kak Yuni, thank you for taking care of me for a few days and nights. I love you" Oh my...Seronok sgt, Allah je fhm perasaan Kak Yuni. Dik, you'll never know. Never :)

Handkerchief please

Dear diary,
Untuk ke sekian kalinya, perasaan ini muncul lagi,, Yes, perasaan itu. Rasa loser bila target x menepati sasaran. Perasaan dpt 68, not 70 kat UoP dulu. This time? kegagalan utk menjadi calon TESLian utk merit dlm practicum tersangat la menyedihkan. Apatah lagi apabila pasangan practicum yg berkongsi supervisor berjaya dgn bergayanya. Isk isk isk..sedihnya... sedih bila rasa macam da berusaha tp x jugak Allah perkenankan...aaaaaaa.. Is my effort unseen? Aren't you able to see my hardwork too? Were my lessons too bad? The remarks given were pleasing..so?

"Mungkin bukan kat situ, rezeki Kak Yuni kat tmpt lain"..ok itu lah line ma akan ckp.So, no need to tell her, and perhaps telling her that there is such thing as merit award is unneeded too. But I want that, I always dream high and always gets frustrated for not achieving it. I want that sense of achievement. It is not about being outstanding in the midst of all eyes i have never given a damn for that.  Hati sy ni yg nak..nak senyum sorg2 bwh selimut..and tepuk bahu sendiri and senyum je...Huwaaaa!!

This cheeks again need to be slapped. People's recognition is nothing to be compared with the change that you bring to your students. Ayuni, ikhlaskan lah hati..Is the effort you put just for merit? If so, the intention actually incites pity la deyy. No, it is not that. Isk isk isk this heart immediately needs to be sanitized. This is really a critical period, a critical period whereby I am actually despising myself..such a filthy..DUSH!! Rasa nak tumbuk ASUS biru ni..!! Eh tak tak..sayang je.ololo

Allahuakbar...maaf, saya hamba yg tidak bersyukur..T.T

Circle of Life~~ :)

Dear diary,

14.4 has arrived, bringing me back to the epic experience on the same date a year ago. I just cnt believe that the feeling remains the same when talking to my friend a while ago to recall what we did on that day. I am so grateful for knowing great people in my life. May Allah bless them, especially him. Happy Friendship Day..
~~Hakuna matata..~~

Looking up at the moonbeam,
The shine convinced me that a year has passed,
Just like a dream,
Time moves deadly fast.


No time to moan,
No time to prowl unconfinedly,
No tolerance towards enjoying life..,

Eh, no-no, never.
Treasure every moment..EVERY moment..
Thank you Allah for the past

:)
Zz

7 kebaikan istighfar- Ustaz Don

Teringat insiden dalam kelas 4SN tadi. The noise made by the kids cause the slimmest chance for my voice to be heard. I asked them' "members of the planetttt...istighfar kejap). They did that except for Gobind Singh in the red turban.hehe
The class became better afterwards...should i add this as the 8th secret because it actually works in class too :)

" TUJUH RAHSIA ISTIGHFAR " 

~SHARING IS CARING~

❥ Istighfar adalah memohon ampun kepada ALLAH Subhanahu Wata'ala dengan kalimat:

Astaghfirullaahal'adzhiim atau dengan kalimat lain yang semakna..

Permohonan Ampun ini dilakukan dengan hati yang tulus dan diiringi dengan penyesalan atas kesalahan yang telah diperbuat serta bertekad untuk tidak mengulanginya..

Inilah 7 Rahsia Istighfar :

❥ 1 : MENDATANGKAN AMPUNAN ALLAH..

Maka aku berkata (kepada mereka) Mohon-lah ampun kepada RABB-mu sesungguhnya DIA adalah Maha Pengampun..
(QS. Nuh :10)..

❥ 2 : MENGATASI KESULITAN DAN TERBUKA NYA PINTU REZEKI

Barangsiapa beristighfar secara rutin, pasti ALLAH memberinya jalan keluar dalam kesempitan dan memberi rizki yang tiada terhingga padanya..
(HR. Abu Daud)..

❥ 3 : MENAMBAH KEKUATAN..

Dan (Hud berkata): Hai kaum-ku, mohon-lah Ampunan kepada RABB-mu lalu bertaubat-lah kepada-NYA, Niscaya DIA akan menurunkan hujan yang sangat deras dan DIA akan menambahkan kekuatan diatas kekuatan mu..
(QS. Hud :52)

❥ 4 : MEMPEROLEH BANYAK KENIKMATAN..

Dan hendak-lah kamu memohon Ampun kepada RABB-mu dan bertaubat kepada-NYA, Niscaya DIA akan memberi kenikmatan yang baik kepada-mu sampai kepada waktu yang telah di tentukan...
(QS. Hud :3)...

❥ 5 : TURUN NYA RAHMAT...

Hendak-lah kamu memohon ampun kepada ALLAH, agar kamu mendapat rahmat...
(QS. An-Naml :46)...

❥ 6 : SEBAGAI KAFARATUL MAJLIS...

Barangsiapa yang duduk dalam satu Majlis (perkumpulan orang) lalu di dalamnya banyak perkataan sia-sianya atau (perdebatan) kemudian sebelum ia bangkit dari Majlis membaca (Istighfar):

Subhaanakallahumma wa bihamdika asyhadu allaa ilaaha illa anta Astaghfiruka wa atuubu ilaih...

(Maha suci ENGKAU YAA ALLAH,dan aku memuji-MU dan aku bersaksi bahwa tiada ALLAH melainkan ENGKAU, aku memohon ampun dan bertaubat kepada-MU)...

Maka ia akan diampuni kesalahan-kesal ahan yang diperbuatnya selama di Majlis itu...(HR. Ath-Tirmidzi, Nasa'i, Ibnu Hibban, Abu Daud dan Al-Hakim)

❥ 7 : TERHINDAR DARI AZAB ALLAH...

Dan tidak-lah (pula) ALLAH akan mengadzab mereka, sedang mereka masih memohon ampun(Istighfar)
(QS. Al-Anfal :33)

special dedication

My dear students,

This could be the most pathetic video clip you've ever watched on youtube. T.T

but trust me, I skipped 16 hours of my school break at home for this. Dah sebulan lps teacher buat.You just wait for the premier show in 2 weeks.. ^^

Nur Ad-din

Selamat Pengantin Baru Nuruddin Abd Razab + Nik Noraini

Ripley's believe it or not, Nuruddin da kahwin!, my 'barbarian' class monitor form 1 sudah bertemu jodoh n melangkah 3 bendul tanpa terjelepuk ke tanah. Wohoho..seindah nama awak, sinarilah nur addin itu dalam rumahtangga.. comey lotey couple ni. Xsangka Nudin dah aim Nik dr Form 2 and tak penah voice out the feeling sampai la umur 24 terus ajak kahwin. Ok, sgt kacak tindakan monitor 'kesayangan' uranusian ni..

ok Nudin, tabik hormat!!

<3 i="">

Ok Ayuni jeles tak?

Jeles la maunya tak..sikit2 :D

Senyum sampai ke telinga

Date: 20/3/2013

Day: Wednesday

Class: Form 4B

Reflection:

There was a very tiny event but the impact on me as a practicum teacher was great. Today I conducted a speaking lesson at different place with different approach. I had arranged with the catering course teacher to use the catering room. I asked my students to do a simple cooking demo as if they have their own cooking show with 3-5 chefs per group. It turned out quite well for most of the groups.  They put effort by bringing ingredients and tried hard to show their hidden talent at the kitchen. The most important bit, they gained confidence to use English in a very supportive driving situation. Honestly, I really want to ask my students about what do they think about my lesson albeit I am quite scared to hear the discouraging views. However, I received the first remark last Wednesday that almost caused myself to skip heartbeat due to the greatest instance of joy. It was given by Nifail- the King of sleepyhead and Taqi- the King of road accident.

Taqi: Teacher

Me: Yes Taqi, go back to your class immediately..!! cepaat..

Taqi: OK teacher,,but teacher I just want to say,, best la tadi.

Me: Haa?

Taqi and Nifail: Best gila belajar English td..paling best kitorang rasa

Me: Ye ke? hehe dah hurry up/Your teacher is waiting

There was a shift in my expression, yet very subtle that they might not or actually did not notice at all. My smile became wider. My eyes communicated a sense of lifting a victor's cup...Yippie yaiyeyy

((Hurry up la korang..jgn tengok teacher melompat-lompat ni...!!))

Alhamdulillah... :) :) :)

May that be a sign that both of you will be more interested to learn English. Teacher akan buat yg terbaik on my part. Remember that your part is equally important! 

Taqi + Nifail

Iman

Dear diary,

I went to Qassim's school yesterday to train the school drama team, to discover something unexpected. I heard the news spread by Q and Sze Ling, Iman Syafiq had an accident and was in a critical state. I told myself, no wonder Q did not look as cheerful as always. His naqib was experiencing near-death situation. God knows what was inside his heart.Before leaving the school for dinner, suddenly I heard this from Adib "Iman dah xde". Innalillah..

I met Iman at the airport once when we set our foot in the UK. The remarks about him was not quite positive. Iman ni anti perempuan ke? He did not seem to be so friendly with the girls. I had no say about him. That is the style of abg2 usrah kot.That was the way how I get myself convinced. What we know, he spread Islam and influenced some of the boys in my batch positively to be near to Islam until the world could see the difference before and after meeting Iman. I saw Q reading Quran at the Guild Hall, the way Yazid spoke to me became more polite, Islamicly sounded, and Azri..the new Azri, the totally new Azri compared to Azri that used to be my 'sayap kiri' or the 'black rooster warrior' of the Gerakan Mama Yuni in our foundation yeard.. :D Subhanallah...hebatnya Iman

And the girls actually detest him for the difference, including with the hardest heart which is not easily softened although after ages of submerging it in the ocean of dakwah. I simply cannot change my life and my surrounding totally as how Iman did successfully. The second week in Langstone, I received a fb friend request from iman which had impressed all of my friends.. Deep inside I believe that he had trust in me to contribute in the journey of dakwah..Nonetheless, Iman remained inactive in my newsfeed. I hide him and I hide my activity from him..one of the foolish action that I did...I just have no answer for that

And last night, for the first time I clicked his name only after knowing his death. Oh he never removed me from the friend list like how Qassim and Ayie did to all the girls during out second year. I almost cried to see his friends' posts on his wall. All those words were inspirational and very beautiful. How I wish that I could be remembered like that once the calling from my Creator needs to be answered. Iman mati meninggalkan iman. What a daie he was. Al Fatihah..

Shoulders needed!

Hari yg paling suwey selepas hari yang menggembirakan berlalu

1. Rakan A tiba2 tidak mahu bercakap. I said sth dgn senyuman but she replied nothing. Tempoh tidak bercakap mencecah 6 jam. or maybe 7.oh sgt stress. Yes, igt sy xde feeling kan? Terima kasih
2. Rakan B di sekolah yg jauh nun di sana meminta bantuan mengajar menari utk students. Perjalanan 45 minit. Minta datang pukul 3 and send message pukul 2.15. Khidmat masyarakat. Mereka berjanji dgn students without telling me first as if I am free all the time. Terima kasih.
3. Rakan C minta nak tgk lesson plan n nak salinan. Text dgn ayat miang...Err..Saya yg kena fotostat utk awk ke?
4. Rakan D text suruh ke bilik dia utk tgk stok kain. Text dgn smiley..Nak menjual n minta suruh jual. Kalau byr ansuran kena dahulukan duitku in advance. Asal jumpa je suruh tgk kain with smiley. Every time is about money and kain and money again
5. Rakan E meminta check thesis lg ada upah ke tidak mmg xthu

"Ayuni..nak mintak tlg sikit"- statement in kedengaran hampir 20x minggu ini
unbelievable!!
Ya Allah, I don't mind helping people,,tp knp rasa mcm a few of my friends are trespassing upon my willingness?? Xlogiknyaa
Dalam surrounding mute di bilik yg tidak diketahui asbabnya, perkara 2,3,4 terjadi dlm masa tidak kurang satu jam. Saya stress sgt T.T. Let's qiam and postulate to Allah. Lama sgt dh hilang attachment ngn Tuhan. Asyik jd hamba manusia pdhl tujuan hidup adalah sbg hamba Allah..dah lari sgt...jauh menyimpang :'(

No title

Dear batuan Southsea Common

Adakah kalian merindui saya? (Perasan jap)
Saya pon merindui awak semua





amat..
sangat..
gila-gila..

Panjang umur jumpa lg
If xdpt, jumpa di syurga
Batuan confirm syurga dah :)

Waiting for the daylight

Dear diary,
I am overexcited for the 'thing' that is going to happen tomorrow. Harapnya semua akan berjalan lancar. I am done with cajoling my crony for this. Haih..Anything for you lah Fifi =)

Little white lies

This is cute in its own simplicity.

This is partly arguable

I think both are equally hard

kan?

Hehe.. yes girl you know that 'denial' is the best place for you to live in..

I'm acting cool all the times,

lama2 penat la tu..

just wait till my heart screams by and by

3

2

1

AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!