Oh Kak Jenny

Dear diary,

I came across some ugly definitions of a word that I initially had doubt creeping in regarding its existence. There is such term as housechild, although unauthorized but sufficiently depressing. As 'siot' as it seems, by definition a housechild is 'old-enough to be a housewife, unemployed, plus has lived away from the house for a period of time and is now coming back to the house just when the parents thought they were finally rid of her". Sheesh!! It has never been easy to get over this ongoing excruciating period of unemployment and uncertainty. It is like you are living alone on another earth that has stopped spinning. You can only witness a normal perfect life portrayed by other people while you helplessly questioning in silence why life is being so unkind to you. And somehow or rather you feel like getting back at world but again, the helplessness is the concern. I know. Allah knows. Only we both know. It is only the sixth day of 2014 and look how unmotivated have I become. Nak kena Ayuni niiii..

I need fresh air! Can the world hear me shouting from this mattress top? :D

While I was hoping for a good excuse for another so-called blissful escapism, Kak Jannah came in with the strongest ever reason to tell abah and mama. She is getting married! OK what is so great about her getting married? Of course it is! Kak Jannah is my naqibah. I have got to see her because.. first, I am pretty sure that it is unlikely to be another next time. The possibility is slowly fading. Second, I have millions of reasons to love her as she was the one who had made every weekend at Wellington more meaningful by prompting us to sit together turning each miraculous pages of Quran. The routine that grew to be more significant from that moment on. So that's it. Seeing Kak Jannah is a must even if It means that I've got to find my own way to her place in Muar.

He made thing easy for me as always. My spontaneous plan has been positively responded by the girls. Everybody seems to be willing travel again from different coordinate to catch up. There had been a few after we parted but it's never enough. Well, this stone gonna get not just two, but maybe three or four birds killed sadistically. I will promise to you el diario that I will get better. I will work on those few do's. Yezzaa..Just another week to go. Muy perfecto ^^

Azam-zam alakazam

I guess I know already what is the best resolution for myself
- grab all opportunities available
- be bold
- take risk

:) yosh!

I entered Tadika on January 1st! -Aisyah (6 y/old)

さようなら

"There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind"
I gazed on that quote for a few seconds, viewing from the life perspective of my own. Again, my negative mind is consciously overpowered by the overwhelming sense found from the unknown corner of the brain. The truth is, I am not altogether on Lewis' side in this matter. 2013 started pretty well with practicum and a few other crazy stuffs that we did together as students. In a contradict manner, the following months of the year went into nothingness since I have just trapped at home most of the time. The passing numb months after leaving IPDA has rendered myself cruel to declare that 2013 emitted light the least, in general. But there was one moment this year that the world was able to see every ounce of happiness evident on my face. The event that I have been wanting and waiting for several months. I asked and He listened. Allah looked straight into my heart. I know that. He showed it and I have clearly understood. So 2013, thanks for behaving well so long. You may leave now. :)

8-18

Stop right there! I said to myself this morning. My brain signalled my fingers to do what they were supposed to. Each passing day brings us closer, but have not yet to the point of no return. Fortunately my brain did his job well in taking care of other people's feeling. Beyond that, I have to admit the power of God that is unbeatable. At one point, He hears me. Allah is truly above everything although He did that in the most shocking, saddest, and unexpected way.

People say,
To love is an effort.
To be loved is a bless.

No matter how small the effort is,
No matter how little the love feeling could be,
Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart.

	كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ ثُمَّ إِلَيْنَا تُرْجَعُونَ Every soul will taste death. Then to Us you will be returned 29:57

The deceased that surely will be remembered, if not missed.
Allah will take care of you

Good luck

Dear diary,

Tomorrow is the day of SPP interview. The exposure since the first year I stepped in teaching field will somehow be asked by the selected few experts. Within 5 days I have been struggling to regain some (surely not much) knowledge imparted by the lecturers, and I guess my other coursemates who are currently breathing unpleasantly due to mountaining anxiety are doing the same. Listening to the seniors' stories would not help much. I am still not sure what am I going to see, hear and witness tomorrow. Haih Ayuni just hope for the best. You have gone this far...
Cuak yang amat... For a moment I think I do not know what to say. It's utterly terrifying. Never a second that I enjoy a formal interview.... Uhukhuk

Kompang

• Akhirnya cinta Fakhrul disambut oleh vdaa dengan cara yang diredhai Allah. Mabruk cik Vdaa :) 231113

Namaste ji

Dear diary,

I think Viki, amma, patti, Isha akka n uncle have made it clear about what is meant by kindness. They touched my hard with their deeds throughout my stay in Bangi. For something that is really precious and can hardly be found anywhere, all I can do is to thank Allah.  I really wish that one day Allah will grant me strength to let her see what I saw, to have the same belief like mine, to recite the great words, ultimately. Dakwah is always the incumbent duty tuned out. I feel worthless somehow. Huk3..